The Me Ten Years Ago: Financial Peace

It’s nostalgic, truly, to sit and reflect on my life ten years ago. I was seventeen, finding my place in the world, seeking my purpose in life. I was straddling a life of expectation and a life of responsibility. My thoughts are toward young women who are in this place, about to embark on the next chapter we like to call adulthood. It’s truly a pivotal time in life, and all thanks to God it was one of hope and excitement for me.

I recall from the time I was a little girl, already knowing I wanted to be a mom and raise my babies at home. I did not fight this innate desire that God placed in my heart. Is it not a beautiful characteristic of women? We are given this innate drive and desire to nurture. Culture says to fight it; to nurture everything else in one’s way except for the one thing that matters most. This is when a maverick mentality steps in; fighting the noise- the pressures put on women to be “all of it and then some” and focusing on what you truly want. For me, it was to have babies and raise them myself.

I truly believe that I did not just get lucky with dating and marrying my husband. I know that God knows the intimate desires of our hearts, wants His children to flourish, and has a plan for our, at the time, unborn children. He sees outside of time and is so magnificently all knowing that His plans are always perfect. Marrying Brett was divine, it wasn’t a circumstantial happening. It was God. From the beginning, we were always on the same page about the future. I remember the high school versions of ourselves dreaming of having our own children “one day” and raising them at home under my care. Those plans never changed, in fact, life was built around them. I chose a career in healthcare, knowing I would have flexible hours in the future, and I forewent going on for my Masters, knowing that I would not be able to climb out of the debt without having to commit more to my job. I always remind myself of the scripture verse that says: “The slave is debt to the master.” I did not want to be in a position where my professional career overshadowed my desire to be home with my children. I did not want to put that financial responsibility on my husband, knowing that my debt would weigh on him and cause stress in our marriage, as he watched me obtain a degree that I could not live up to paying.

Flash forward to our honeymoon. I recall our financial conversations always being in a positive light. Neither of us had debt. I paid for my new SUV in college and Brett pursued avenues in his career that put him in a very stable position. We set a goal to pay for a house, mortgage free. Two years later, with a newborn, we closed on a home, and continue to have no debt to our name. We live in financial peace. What I want you to understand is that hard decisions were made along the way to go against the grain of what society deems as a successful path. We did not go to expensive colleges, we were not impulsive with our spending, and we put some opportunities to the wayside to build a firm foundation for life and our future legacy.

Proverbs is a wonderful book of the Bible that illustrates differences between living in a state of wisdom versus living in a foolish state. In chapter 21, verse 20, it says:

“There is desirable treasure and oil in the house of the wise, but a foolish man squanders it.”

As a young woman, or as an engaged or married couple, fill your homes with oil. Back in bible times, oil was a main source of energy to lite lamps. If you ran out of oil, your house could not function the same way as if it had light. The idea of storing up oil is intentionally preparing for the future. Set your mind on reaching a place of financial stability where you do not owe anyone, anything. Furthermore, when times get tough and this world puts pressure on you, threatening your income and your ability to live, you do not have to be phased. That has been the biggest blessing thus far. Our home is stored up with oil, and we do not even have to think about tomorrow or what may come.

The me now reflects the heart I had ten years ago. I get to experience an indescribable freedom as a mother and wife. I am unmoved by the pressures of culture, unphased by the demand’s society puts on women. I get to thrive in taking care of my home and children. For the young women reading this today, sit down and evaluate what you want in life. Often the appearance of working and raising children does not play out so glamorously. For the woman who desires to be home with her children; life was once different, but now you have children- you want to be home with your children. The hard answer, work hard to get out of debt. Live simply until loans are paid off, drive beater cars, live below your means, communicate with your spouse about picking up another job. Choose to live differently today so that you can live differently from everyone else tomorrow.