The Power of Love

There is something incredible about not only God’s design for marriage, but what it feels like to actually dwell in a good marriage. In dwelling, it is not simply a state of finding yourself in a good marriage, but the product of working at a good marriage. Brett and I will soon be approaching our seventh wedding anniversary. We both still agree that the best thing we ever did was marry and create the beautiful family we have today.

As we approach Valentine’s Day, the passage in 1 Corinthians 13 continues to run through my mind. While this chapter addresses how the church should love one another, it is an excellent example of how spouses should treat one another too. The one verse that I have been mediating on is: “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 1 Cor 13:7”

As I’ve specifically been praying this over our marriage, I think about the many joyful highs we’ve shared, as well as the despair that the lows can bring. One thing, however, remains consistent, we choose to keep working and stay in unity. The words ring in my ear from our wedding day as our Pastor described the work involved in marriage. Illustrated as a farmer working the plow in a field under the heat of day, or sometimes with a cool breeze, there’s no risk in falling, the only risk is giving up the work.

In marriage, you must always think of your spouse more highly than you think of yourself. You are one body, one unit, one cord. I think when we value our spouse like we value ourselves, you unlock the key to working hard at your marriage. Too many spouses today are more motivated by the cares of this world, than their own inner purpose as a spouse. It’s time to put in the work, forever and always.

Bear burdens together, do not go it alone. Furthermore, do not be the source of your spouses burden. If you know something that you do or habits you have formed, activities you engage in, etc. that bother or frustrate your spouse, re-evaluate them. Start conversations and be transparent with one another on your intentions, and work through it. When problems arise, lean on each other for support. Bring your cares to your husband and vice versa. Burdens increase the bond you and your spouse have and help refine the areas in your marriage that need addressing.

Believe in your spouse. Believe in their potential. Uplift them; help them to be the best version of themselves. Don’t watch them fall into the various ruts that an overwhelming life can bring. As a spouse, you are called to be their number one support. It’s on you and them alone, to simultaneously work together toward goals, passions, and their God-given purpose. Support means more than just lecturing. Do everything in your physical and mental strength, with a lot of prayer, to elevate their needs above your own. If this means helping them draw boundaries, do it for their health. If it means trying new things to support them, do it. Get out of your comfort zone to support them in the ways that will optimize your marriage as a couple.

Hope for the best in your spouse. They may not be the same person you recall marrying on your wedding day, but that is simply the evolution of marriage. Two imperfect people are joined together; add in children and responsibilities, and it’s a recipe for chaos. Of course you will see different sides of the person you married. That does not mean you stop hoping for the best. Never stop working. Hope in God that He will sustain you and use your marriage as a testimony to many, especially in a day and age when people are not marrying and not committing themselves to one person.

Endure all things. Enduring does not mean holding the title of marriage, miserable and unsatisfied. Often you see marriages where the couple just seems miserable and out of sync, and you wonder why they even remain married. Yes, that is a form of enduring, but it’s not the kind of love that God purposed for your lives. Endure all things with joy. Endure means to dwell in a steady form of love toward one another. It means to never stop dating your spouse. It shows that sacrifice is not just for a season, but for a lifetime. Endure with each other through the good times, and through the bad times too.

I’ve always loved the month of February because it’s a great time to specifically focus on the word love, what it means to us, and most importantly, God’s perfect demonstration of love to His children. It is our prayer that you would use this month, beyond just a holiday, to reignite passion with your spouse, to take self inventory on how you can better sacrifice for the needs of your spouse, and to commit to enduring together in this lifetime. Give your spouse the love they deserve—true love with no strings attached, a love that is passionate, caring, and admirable. In a culture that is self absorbed, harbors bitterness, and does not trust, choose a maverick, countercultural marriage. Choose God’s way. After all, He created it.